AFRICAN TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE

Marriage in Africa is defined as an agreement between a man and a woman to live together as husband and wife.

 In Africa, marriage is seen as a great institution. That is why it is always celebrated like a carnival.

For the sake of this discourse Igbo society in Nigeria will be used as a case study.

 In Igbo society, after marriage is contracted, the both families involved enter into a great bond that will last for a life time. That’s why the rate of divorce in Africa is very low. The woman married into a family is generally regarded as a wife to all members of the family, but it is only the husband that has the right to live with her.  This does not imply that there is any ‘bed room’ intimacy between the bride and others. Only the husband has the right to have sexual relationship with her.

The following are the rites which one is expected to perform before marriage is contracted.

Introduction: this is the first visit by the groom’s family to the bride’s family. The purpose of this visit is to inform them of their intention to marry their daughter. This ceremony is usually low-keyed, with only a small number of people in attendance. Items to be provided for this are two gallons of palm wine, kola nuts and non-alcoholic drinks. After the groom’s family had made their intent known, they will be told to go while the bride will be interrogated to know whether she accepts the suitor to marry her. This is the period when the bride’s family makes inquires about the history and life of their prospective in-law to find out whether there is any dark spot, such as theft, poisoning, witchcraft, or any undesirable behaviour in past or present. This inquiry is very important because, should they find any negative thing, message will be sent across to them not to bother coming back. In this case, a flimsy reason will just be given to them on why the marriage must not be contracted. This is because Africans believe in heredity, re-incarnation and law of karma. This means that when one marries from a family that is involved in these wicked acts, one will either give birth to offspring who will behave like them, or share in the repercussions from their evil deeds.
Note that the groom’s family does their own inquiry before going for introduction. If the suitor passes this test, the bride’s family will send a message across to the groom’s family through the go-between to come for the response.

The second visit: this is when a date is fixed for the payment of bride price and wine carrying. A convenient date is chosen for the ceremony. Necessary arrangements are made to entertain the guests.

Payment of dowry (bride price): this is a very important aspect of marriage. It is what confirms the couple as husband and wife. On the day of the event, the groom and his kinsmen will travel to the bride’s family. The bride’s kindred will also gather in large numbers to welcome their in-laws. This occasion is always high-keyed. The suitor must provide the food and wine that will satisfy all the guests in attendance. The occasion commences with the payment of the bride price. This exercise is done like a business transaction. Much bargaining is done before an agreement is reached, although most people tell their suitors to pay whatever they wish. But there is always an expected value placed on lady based on her academic qualification, beauty, hand work or wealth. After the payment of the dowry, everybody enters into merriment, but before that, there is what is called “seeking rite” that must be performed. The bride’s father will give a cup of palm wine to her and instruct her to show everybody her husband. The bride will walk round the vicinity with the cup of palmwine in her hand searching for the groom. When she finds him, she will give him the wine kneeling down. The groom will drink from the cup and give the rest to the bride to drink. When this rite is completed they will both walk up to the middle of the arena. The DJ or traditional dance troupe will give them a very good traditional music. As they dance, everybody will join and will be spraying money on them. Note that this ‘seeking rite’ is very important. If the bride refuses to give the wine to the groom or gives it to another person, the marriage will not proceed.

After the ceremony, the groom and his people will go home leaving the bride behind. The bride will take an empty keg of palm wine to the husband’s house the next morning. This is to officially know where she is going to live for the rest of her life.  This visit only lasts for four days. After which she will go back to her father’s house with some gifts, such as soaps, creams, clothes etc.

Wine carrying: this stage is characterized by merriment and celebration. Palm wine is bought in large quantity. A large number of people are invited from both families and well wishers. The bride and the groom will dress in uniformed traditional attire. The bridal train and the groom’s men will also appear on uniformed traditional attire. The bride will be responsible for all the food and drinks to be taken on that day. There is no limit to this, but there is always a set standard.  How wealthy the groom is determines how much he can provide. The “seeking rite” will be performed here again, when the bride finds the groom there will dancing and merriment as the well wishers spray money on them. Most mothers give their daughters what they need in their new homes such as cooking utensils, bicycles, cars, motorcycles, houses, freezers etc. There is no specification here, how wealthy the bride's family is determines what they will give to their daughter. After this presentation the bride’s family will bless the couple and the groom will then take his bride home for a marital bliss.  

AFRICAN PROVERBS

Proverbs are words or statements that have implied meanings. They have meanings other than their literary meanings. In Africa, Proverbs are given it's proud of place. It is regarded as the words of wisdom. An elder is regarded as being wise if he is known to be a good user of proverbs. Mostly, it is not condoned for teenagers to use it when conversing with elders. It is a special preserve for the mature mind. In Africa, it is always fun for one to be in the gathering of elders. Observing their artistry and mastery in the act is always a thing of great delight.

The main purpose of this discourse is to show the beauty of proverbs, the usage and meanings. Below are examples of some proverbs and their meanings.
The proverbs are the first statements in the sentences while the ones in brackets are their meanings.



Proverb is the oil by with words are eaten (proverbs are very important in expressions).

A toad does not run in day time for nothing (things do not just happen without a cause)

A child who stops his mother from sleeping will not sleep either (One who wants to be wicked towards others will also have a taste of wickedness).

When an old woman falls two times she will count the contents of her basket ( it is good for one to carry out self appraisal to be able to re-strategize).

A recalcitrant house fly follows the corpse to the grave (One who does not listen to advices will always live to regret it).

When the genitals are exposed, there is no reason to be shy again (When secrets are made public; there is no need for pretense).

When a divorced woman marries another man she will be able to know the better one (When one tries two options; one will know the better one).

The tortoise said that the spit by his wife has given him satisfaction whether it is a sign of pregnancy or not (a positive sign no matter how little denotes that the outcome may be favourable).

When the she-goat chew the chord her kid will always watch her mouth (the parent's behaviour influences their ward's behaviour either positively or negatively).

A calf must squat to be able to suck her mother's breast (one must stoop to conquer)
What an elder sees setting on a chair a child cannot see it even if he stands on a ladder (wisdom comes with age).

A man who has traveled to many places has more stories to tell than an a man with gray hair who never left his house (the more one goes to different places the more one acquires information and knowledge).

One who steals his neighbours gong can never make use of it without raising suspicion (an evil doer will always be exposed by his evil deeds).

A man who is loved by many women always has an empty pocket to show for it (a womanizer spends most of his money on women).

One who brings Ant-infested firewood into his house invites lizard for a feast (most people are the architects of their own problems).

If death does not kill a sacrificial yam it must surely germinate (as long as there is life there is hope).

When the bread fruit reaches its maturity stage it must surely fall down (when things reach the ample time they must surely manifest).

A pregnant woman can never conceal her pregnancy with her palms (truth can never be hidden for long).

When birds learn to fly without perching; hunters will also learn how to shoot without aiming (desperate situations need desperate measures).

It is only a mad man who chases after rats when his house is on fire (it is reasonable to be committed to the important issues not frivolities).

It is absurd to ask whether the fire that burnt a white man to death touched his mustache (it is unreasonable to doubt the obvious).

A masquerade that comes out in the afternoon should expect that both men and women will see him (one who disgraces oneself in the public should not be worried when people talk about it).

It is not good for one to wash ones dirty underwear in the public (it is better to keep personal and private matters so).